Skip to main content

Friends 4ever...maybe not

If you have had the pleasure of seeing any of my posts on twitter today (follow me @TheShaylaEm), you have probably noticed that I was sending a message.  I'll admit that I was in my feelings a little bit today, but I believe I had great reason.  

I have always been a nice person.  Willing to help when I can and sometimes being the absolute worst at saying no.  However, here lately, I feel like I have been abused, to say the least.  People that I am used to talking to a few days a week online, via an actual phone call, or via text have just disappeared.  I understand the excuse I'm busy, but if you are trying to be a friend to someone, don't you think you can find one minute to at least say hello or see how they are doing?  I would think so, but it is obvious everyone does not share the same mentality.  Even if it is just once a month, at least make an effort to show your friends you care.  I've always made an effort to be a very good friend because I know that is what I would want people to be to me.  

As I've gotten older, and especially today, I'm having a hard time with something.  The thought came to me am I being nice to people so people would be nice to me instead of looking down on me because of my size?  I know that sounds like a stretch (no pun intended), but it is true.  


A few years ago, Tyra Banks put on a fat suit and walked around town asking people for various simple things - the time, directions, etc.  Only a few people stopped to help her.  She went out on some blind dates.  She went shopping.  She spent 15 hours experiencing what media had portrayed as ugly and nasty.  If you want to read more about her day, the following link will get you there (http://abcnews.go.com/GMA/BeautySecrets/story?id=1280787).

For her role in Why Did I Get Married?, Jill Scott gained weight and put on a fat suit.  In an interview she did, she said her cast mates had pity in their eyes when they saw her.  They knew she was the same person underneath, but the fact her body looked different, they looked at her differently.  To see the interview, go to the following link: (http://www.people.com/people/archive/article/0,,20160756,00.html).

Point is, those beautiful ladies got to take their skin off.  However, I don't and neither do millions of people across the world.  I would like to think I'm nice by nature, but maybe I'm nice for a protective mechanism.  Maybe if I'm nice to them, they want laugh in my face or behind my back.  If I'm nice to them, they will not let others talk about me.  If I'm nice to them, they will treat me like I'm human and not something disgusting.  If I'm nice to them, they won't mind being my friend.  If I'm nice to them, maybe they will like to take me out on a date.  If I'm nice to them, maybe they will like to take a photo with me and not worry about it being posted on social networking sites.  If I'm nice to them, maybe someone would find it in their heart to be nice to me and though we don't talk everyday, they will at least make an effort (even if it is fake), to at least (pretend to) care and make sure I am still alive.  I would just like to know I'm not being used because right now, especially by a few particular people, I feel like they have used me and thrown me away.  Communication went down from almost everyday, to a few times a week, to a few times in a couple of weeks, to them basically saying you'll hear from me when I need or want something.



I'm not sure what so called friendships (I use that term loosely) were frayed by my little (public) tirade, but if they were, oh well.  I deserve people who are going to be nice to me because of my persona, not because of what I can do for them.  The sad part is, that one day I were to be a bitch (yep, I'm going there), they would tell me my attitude is messed up and wonder why I am acting the way I am.  To those who say that, here is my question to you - did it ever occur to you that my actions have a direct relationship to how you have and still are treating me?  My friendship is a gift and not to be used and abused.  I hope you remember that. 

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Big body, big hair

Earlier this week, I was cruising around the twitterverse and noticed a cool shirt floating around.  The shirt said, no you cannot touch my hair.  I thought it was funny, but it is a huge thing in the natural hair community that people do not like for their hair to be touched.  I might be the weird one because it honestly doesn't bother me.  Now, just don't come up to me and touch my hair, but if you ask and I'm feeling a bit friendly (LOL), I just might let you feel these beautiful natural curls that God so graciously gave me.  

In my opinion, my hair is awesome.  However, after my transition from processed to natural, I didn't always feel that was the case.  I was so used to my hair being straight and long.  But, I just kept cutting it shorter and shorter until I eventually did the big chop and I became 100% natural.  

I guess now, I feel more confident.  As the years have passed, I've been more confident in my body and now I'm a lot more confident in my hair.…

Tasty Tales - Cheesy Zucchini Breadsticks

I posted one of my dinner dishes on my Instagram page this week and you seemed to have really loved it.  I've never had so many DMs asking me for a recipe.  Since you wanted the recipe, I've decided to share it here in a post.  I can't tell you how I Tameika-ized it because I've made it differently each time I've made it.  However, I can give you the basics and what I've learned.  
Cheesy Zucchini Breadsticks
Serving Size: 6 Servings
Ingredients
4 cups grated zucchini 1/2 cups mozzarella cheese 1/3 cups parmesan cheese 1 egg 1 teaspoon garlic salt 1 cup grated cheese of choice (for topping)
Instructions
Grate the zucchini and squeeze as much juice out as possible.  In a bowl, combine together the zucchini, mozzarella cheese, paremsan cheese, egg, and garlic salt.  Stir until everything is combined.  On a lined baking sheet, lay out the zucchini mixture to at least half an inch thick.  Bake at 425F for 15 minutes.  Remove from the oven and top with your choice of ch…

I'm Ready 8255

In the same week, the industry lost two icons.  One has graced our closet and phone cases for years, while the other was invited into our homes on a weekly basis.  These two deaths reminded us of how life can seem so perfect, yet one is hurting on the inside.  The response to both suicides was overwhelming and once again, it got a very taboo conversation started.  On the other hand, it also brought out the ugly.

It's been a couple of weeks since all of this happened and the commotion has since come to a minimum.  You are probably wondering why has she waited until now to talk about this?  It's simple - I wasn't ready.  As a survivor, I wasn't ready.  As someone who faces anxiety on a daily basis, I wasn't ready.  As a blogger disappointed in some of the people in the blogger community, I'm ready.

My social media may or may not light up because of this post, but I'm going to say it anyway.  I'm highly disappointed in some of my fellow bloggers.  While we…