Thursday, August 8, 2013

I eat because...

Well, if you missed #HautiesTalk on Tuesday night August 6 with @manikmag, you missed out on something really awesome.  The topic of discussion was Emotional Eating.  While chatting with the wonderful people in the forum, I couldn't help but to think about myself.  Not having a selfish moment, but looking back on the choices I've made and coming to grips with my size being my own fault.  Then it made me think highly about if my emotional eating led to other things in my life - unhealthy eating, struggle with unhealthy choices to lose weight, etc.  

So, since I like for you to be perfectly honest with me, I feel like I need to be perfectly honest with you.  My story of emotional eating isn't glamorous and it definitely isn't great, but it's honest. 


The first time I remember emotional eating was in high school.  In fact, I can tell you the exact moment.  I had tried out for JV cheerleading for basketball, but I didn't make it.  My dad had taken me back to school to see the list and on our way back to the house, he stopped me by the grocery store, gave me money, and told me to go buy myself a pack of oreos (my weakness).  I don't remember how many of them I ate that night, but I know that it was more than should have been eaten.  Any other time I felt bad, needed a pick me up, or just felt like I needed to be comforted, I would turn to food.  Oreos, ice cream, anything that would allow me to overeat, I ate it.  Well, you guessed it, that spiraled out of control and I started making dangerous choices about my health.  I didn't recognize it then, but looking back on it now, I really started doing some major damage to my body.  Not because of the weight, but because I was out of control.  Due to the fact I was out of control, my weight continued to increase.  The adult I am now can look back and say, "Wow, that was not a good idea".  

Today, those binge eating moments have turned into treat days and those are very few and far between.  Now if I need or want to release some stress, I workout, read, crochet (yep, I do that too), go out for some retail therapy, or enjoy a wonderful selection on Netflix, and of course, I write!  Even my splurging is to a limit.  I try not to keep to many unhealthy things in my place.  I like to keep fruits, yoplait whips strawberry mist, and 100 calorie treats at my disposal.  I work with the conclusion if it is not near, I won't eat it.  Honestly, ice cream is a treat.  If I want ice cream, I have to leave my place to go and get some.  I keep popsicles, but they are only 45 calories and I don't feel as guilty about having them.  Yes, I even keep oreos in my possession, but I buy the reduced fat (6 cookies = 300 calories).  And since I like to have milk with them, I used vanilla soy milk. 


I know I talk about it all the time, but the LoseIt app has really helped me.  (Make sure to download the free app and follow them on twitter @loseit and on instagram @loseitapp).  It helps to see what is going in my body so that I can make better choices.  I don't even want to see a day where I am in the red and that helps me to keep from doing too much, unless I am having a free day.  To be honest with you, even my free days are light because my tummy just cannot hold that amount of food anymore and it takes less of a portion for me to get full.  

So, why do I eat?  I eat because I want to be healthy.  It's all about the lifestyle change.  It's about making better choices and finding other ways to cope with issues other than turning to food.  There are options out there, but make sure you choose the one that best fits your needs.  

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