Monday, September 30, 2013

To my fans!

Well, I know I have been quiet for a few weeks.  For those of you that know me, you know that sometimes, I have to take some time to get recharged and get ready for my next step.  Yes, I'm being quiet, but my mind is always working.  I'm thinking about what you want to read.  I'm thinking about what I want to write.  I'm thinking about how vulnerable I want to be with you.  I'm thinking about all these things that can make my blog better.  For instance, a few weeks ago, I changed the format of my blog and I haven't seen any complaints.  I change things to make them easier for you because I value you all and you all have been such an amazing support group for me.  Why do I call you a support group?  Well, you share in my joys, you laugh at my silliness, and most of all, you are there for me what I need that extra boost.  Support group, family, whatever you want to call it, that is what you are to me.  What I am saying is this, don't worry when I get quiet - just know that I am going to come back better than ever!  I have plenty to say concerning life, fashion, my weight loss journey, and whatever else you want me to talk about.  It is so simple - leave me a comment on here, send me a tweet on twitter (click on the link to your right to follow me and tweet me), or even find me on Instagram at TheShaylaEm.  Now that you know how to find me, find me.  I look forward to hearing from you and cannot wait to see what you would like me to write about.  Love you, guys!  You make making this personal journey public so worth it!  

Thursday, September 19, 2013

Post Class Reunion

So, over the weekend, I had the chance to see some of my peeps from the class of 2003 from high school.  I won't lie, I was a bit scared because I don't have my cheerleader body, I'm single (with no prospects), no children, and I just didn't feel like I was doing as much as my other classmates, as far as the family life is concerned.  

However, I was pleasantly surprised after I made my grand entrance in my black and white dress from Torrid and my beautiful red shoes!  Of course I was greeted with hugs and plenty of giggles, but one statement someone said to me made my 2 hour trip home worth the trip.  One of my friends came up to me and said I love following your post on Facebook because you seem to enjoy life.  It's amazing how much a statement can change your day.  I do enjoy life and I am so happy that someone else other than my family and my coworkers see that about me.  I hate to call her a stranger, but seeing as how we haven't seen each other in 10 years, she no longer knows me as well and since 10 years have passed, yeah, I have changed.  

Other than my awesome dress and shoes and the fact it felt like old times in that room, I really felt like I had accomplished something.  It's not anything special, but words can really make or break a moment.  I'm happy someone noticed that about me.  I do enjoy life.  However, there was another statement that really knocked me off my feet.  Someone told me you look great! 

Grant it, I've been trying to lose weight and look better, however I felt like it wasn't working.  I can see the weight loss and the size of my clothes have changed.  On the other hand, I've always wondered if people would be able to tell.  It's not cute and tight like it was 10 years ago, but it is much better than what it was and someone noticed.  

This is the deal - I know it seems like it's strange, but I did not want to hang out at the class reunion.  Truthfully, I was hoping I had to work to keep from going.  Basically, I waited until the 11th hour to decide if I was actually going.  However, I am glad I did.  My biggest fear of being judged and looked at like I didn't belong never came to pass.  I'm happy I went.  I don't know what the next 5 to 10 years are going to go or if I will even be alive, but for a few brief hours on Saturday night, I was in my own perfect little world.  

Thursday, September 12, 2013

Class Reunion preview

Well, this weekend marks my 10 year class reunion.  I was plus size in high school and I'm still plus size now.  However, believe it or not, I was also a cheerleader.  Yep, I went to a school that let curvy girls cheer.  So here's the thing, I don't know what type of expectations to have for this reunion.  Will people notice I'm one size bigger than what I was in high school?  Will people bring up a dark part of my past I would rather forget?  Will people ask me why I'm single and why I don't have any kids?  I haven't quite figured out how to field those questions.  However, I just hope that it isn't followed with you're too pretty to be single.  That one might send me over the edge.  

The thing is, I had some confidence issues in high school that I needed to work through.  I had confidence in college that I needed to work through.  I have confidence issues in my adult life that I still need to work through.  Since I believe in being honest with you, I will just come right out and say it.  I am petrified that someone is going to say something to me that is going to ruin the years to personal strength building I have been doing.  You know that madness about words will never hurt me? The fact of the matter is that words do hurt and sometimes, it takes years to rebuild what other people tore down.  I don't have 10 years redo the possible damage that could be done over the weekend.  



Since there are two events happening, football game tomorrow and the event Saturday night, there are two times for people to say something that could hurt me.  However, I am going to look at those times and hope that it will turn into two times people will say something nice and not even mention my size.  

I am really hoping the next blog about this weekend will be a great one that will have me layered in confidence.  On the other hand I have also prepped myself for the possibility of someone doing some serious damage to my self-esteem.  Either way, no matter what happens, I am going to make sure you know all about it.  If I'm hurt, I know you'll be here to lift me up and if I'm happy, I know you will be here to share in my excitement.  

Friday, September 6, 2013

Color wars

Well, ladies and gentlemen, last weekend (Labor Day weekend) marked the unofficial end to the summer season.  You know what that means, right?  The end of the fun, impromptu outdoor cookouts.  The end of those long days by the pool.  The end of summer vacations.  The end of the overall fun that was had by all.  Now, if you are strictly a fashionista (or fashionisto - male version), you are probably thinking Labor Day marks the last day you can wear white.  Well, I am telling you right now I BEG TO DIFFER!!!

So, let me go ahead and get this little disclaimer out the way because I don't want y'all (yes, I'm Southern born and bred) thinking that I am talking about the color white like I wear it all the time.  Personally, I don't think I look good in white.  Nope, not because I'm not pure or anything (I figured I would get that out the way too), but because I really don't think it fits my skin tone.  In fact, I have even told people that if (big IF) I ever make that walk down the aisle, I will be in a cream dress (other colors to be disclosed in the future, near or far).  However, I will say about 3 years ago, I heard a fashion contributor say plus size women should not wear white bottoms (jean, skirts, etc.).  Keep in mind, this comment was coming from someone who wouldn't be plus size if you put 3 of them together.  

I have never been a fan of wearing the color, but I have seen plus size divas (and some of our smaller counterparts) that are simply a vision in white.  I don't think it is for me, but hey, I know my truth.  A few months ago, I had a photo shoot with a really cool photographer from my area and I decided to try wearing white capri pants.  While the photo looked great, I just did not think I looked great in white.  However, give me a white background and throw a splash of color(s) on there, you have yourself a deal!  Just in case you were wondering, yes that is really me in the photo.  I know you don't get the chance to see the person behind the words often, so consider this a special treat.

The point it this plus divas, I don't care if someone tells you not to wear white or if the holiday tells you not to wear white, if it is your style, ALWAYS rock your style.  Your style shows off your personality and, whether or not you believe it, style gives you a certain bit of life.  If it is your choice, go grab all the white in your closet and put it on and own that ish.  It's what you are supposed to do.  You never know, you might start a new trend like only white after Labor Day.  Ok, let me not get your hopes up because it would take more than one season for that to happen.  However, just be you.  If white is your new fall and winter color, then so be it.  Truthfully, there is a possibility of you looking better in white after Labor Day than some people look in traditional fall colors.  Hey, don't be mad at me - I'm just making a statement from an observation.