Tuesday, December 31, 2013

Year End Review - Edition 2013

I thought that I would share with you something out of my personal blog tonight.  I hope you enjoy it. Happy new year!!!

If I told you 2013 did not go as planned, that is probably the best understatement to end the year.  I don't think anything I had in my mind to do this year happened, but that is alright because that means 2014 is set up perfectly for a comeback.  Even though things got crazy these past few months, it did force me to think about my life and everything that is going on in it.  

Each year, I usually have a theme by the middle of the year.  This year, that wasn't the case.  Then around September and October, well let's just say that life got more than interesting.  However, just when life got interesting, I found myself going to a church where the pastor and first lady made themselves available to me and my needs and were willing to take me in, even though not a member of their congregation.  What I know now that I didn't know then was that God was setting me up to go into a storm that He knew I was more than capable to weather, even though I still cannot see that for myself.  

Well, I know you are waiting for it so here goes...2013 is the year of the reconnect.  I like too look at the latter part of the year as God really getting on to me because I didn't listen to Him in the earlier part of the year.  I had long been a person that would quickly tell you that I am good on my own and that I don't need anyone.  Well, both of those statements were lies.  Everyone needs someone and I think that He wanted to teach me that this year, but He had to shock my system first.  How did He shock my system?  That isn't for the world to know, but just know that He did it and He got me really good.  

He forced me to reconnect with myself.  I had lost myself.  I had stopped writing.  I had stopped being around people.  Overall, I just wasn't happy with what was going on with my life and I kept trying to run from it.  However, He wanted me to stop running.  Don't get me wrong, some days I try to extend my one day track career, but then I have those days where I remember my faith, my strength, and the power that my tongue possesses.  I've learned to speak life, health, love, peace, and other positive things over my life.  If I don't speak them, I cannot rely on anyone else to do so.  I've learned that.  That is how I have reconnected with myself.  I even put around pieces of paper with prayers and inspirations to help me through the day.  I also write on my mirror because I see that every single day.  I'm reconnecting with the goodness in me that I let go so many year ago.  

Most important thing I did this year was reconnect with God and a church.  I haven't joined yet, but at least I'm going.  I'm even going to Bible Study, when I'm not on the night shift.  I got so caught up in things, life, trying to be everything to everybody instead of being something to myself that I forgot about the reason I am so blessed.  God has kept me and believe me, it isn't for anything great that I have done in this life.  But He has a purpose for me.  I know that in order to reach that purpose, I have to be in Him.  I have to love Him first and love myself enough to step into my destiny.  I reconnected with myself and I reconnected with Him - two of the greatest choices that I made this year.  

Since it is not possible for us to go through this life alone, God gave us blood family.  Then He gave us those friends that may even treat you better than family.  I have a few of those.  I don't want to mention any names because of our connection, they should know who they are.  But just in case they don't let me describe them to you - one has been my homie since 6th grade, one has been my amiga since the front desk, one took me under her wing and became a mentor, and one keeps me grounded while making me laugh at the same time.  Then there is one that I met in elementary school that contacted me this year and she has turned into a confidant and someone that is easy to talk.  Even when she has been going through her own things, she has still managed to find time to talk to me and I hope that I have been able to do the same for her.  Needless to say, I reconnected with some friends.  Grant it, I talked to them via phone and social networks, but I always thought that something was missing.  Well, I learned that when you go through storms, God will also show you who is going to stand by you and who is not.  Truthfully, He is still showing me that and I know that some people that I stuck with in all of 2013 will not be along for the ride for the entire length of 2014.  I think He made me reconnect with friends to show me to difference between friends and frenemies.  I know that I have both and I have a better understanding of what to look out for.  

I don't know what your journey was like in 2013.  I know that mine took me some places I would rather not say.  I did some things I am not exactly proud of.  In fact, in a sermon, I heard it said as there are some things so bad that I would rather take to the grave.  I laughed.  I cried.  I prayed.  I wrote.  Some days, I literally fought for my life.  But the greatest thing of all is that I learned.  2014 is going to be alright.  It's not going to be perfect, but it is going to be mine.  I've made some decisions to do things differently and take more chances.  We only go through this journey of life once.  It isn't always great, but if we take the good with the bad and let the good weigh more, it will be alright.  

I'm not making any resolutions for next year.  I just want to continue to strive to be a better person.  God is not finished with me yet and I know there is still much room for improvement.  I'm thankful for the blessings and the lessons, but I am also thankful for Him allowing me to reconnect.  None of us know the day or the hour of our death or the death of our loved ones, so make the best of it.  Make amends.  Smile more.  Go for your dreams.  Never settle.  Live life to the fullest.  Make memories.  Give more and take less.  Be the best you that you can be.  

Thursday, December 12, 2013

The cuddle buddy

I've actually been thinking about writing this for a while, but really didn't know how to approach it.  Even though I am a writer and a lot of people consider me a member of the press, I still feel the need to be respectful.  Respect me, I respect you.  However, I don't know how this post is going to sound because of the subject matter.  So let me go ahead and hit you with a disclaimer, if you are sensitive or you think I may hurt your feelings, please don't even worry about finishing reading this.  Continue at your own risk.  Yep, I'm just that real.  

I've been thick my entire life.  It's just something I am used to.  Even the size that I want to get down to is still considered plus and I am perfectly fine with that.  But the one thing that I get tired of hearing every single year is that winter is big girl season.  If the cold weather is the only reason you are trying to be with someone so you can stay warm, get your life.  The thing is, there are some thick chicks that are insecure and will actually fall for that foolishness.  Then when April comes, they feel lower than dirt because the guys that loved them so much in the winter are now ready for the bodies of the summer.  

Fellow thick ladies, there are guys out there that are going to love us for exactly who we are.  They are going to be able to see past our outward features and look deep into our souls.  When we have someone like that, we should be happy and proud to love them.  Yeah, I know I said that evol word, but it fits in this moment.  

Stop getting caught up in this winter madness.  Go buy a coat and some boots, rock that ish with a banging outfit, and find someone that is going to stick around for all four seasons over and over again.  Doesn't that sound nice?  I know that it sounds perfect to me.  And if you do get cold at night, hold on to a teddy bear or a pillow.  I've had a particular bear since I made a visit to the hospital during my 9th birthday and I hold him each night.