Disclaimer: Post is not about religion, but there is a Christian element. If you feel you may be offended, please stop reading this post. However, if you won't be offended and just want to see what I have to say (because I'm not trying to convert you to Christianity), please continue reading.
The interesting part about this post is I've been trying to write this post for a few weeks. Each time I sit down to write it, I find a reason to get up. Each time I think about writing it, I find something else to think about or do. Each time an element comes to my mind to add to it, I change the subject. It's been that serious. Then, on top of myself thinking about it, my pastor touched on it last Sunday and tonight, something a friend sent to me had the same sentiment. Needless to say, I feel like I'm supposed to be writing this post. I've learned as a writer, each time I write something, it's not necessarily for me. Sometimes, the person on the other end of this screen needed this a lot more than me. If that person or persons is you, I apologize for taking so long to write this.
For years, I had this idea in my head that I could be something. I had my heart set on being a plus model. I'm supposed to dream big, right? I even had (and still do technically) have an agent, but they are wanting to push me more into acting and I don't think I am ready for that just yet. However, modeling, I could do that. Yes, I know it's more than posing - it's about conveying something on a screen, runway, or paper that help people understand something and want to have the product you are modeling...at least that is MY perception of it. I could do that! I do it here, right now, so why not give it a try? I've tried for years and maybe I just got caught up in the fact I love taking professional photos. I don't know But, what I have learned here lately is that modeling is not for me. Another thing I've learned, modeling is not the only way to make it in the plus industry.
Have I made it in the plus industry? Not by any means!!! On the other hand, I am doing my best to make it in the best way I know how - as a writer. A few weeks ago, we talked about the gift. In fact, I'm pretty sure that was the title of the post. Don't worry, I just looked to make sure I wasn't giving you false information. Well, something has happened since that post that has helped make this gift a bit more clear.
Recently, I started reading a book by TD Jakes titled Identity. My small group is studying it and boy have I learned a lot. Not exactly sure what chapter it is in (it's somewhere in chapters 1 - 3) he speaks about being created to do exactly what you were meant to do in this life. Not trying to quote his book exactly, but he speaks about if you were meant to be taller, you would be taller. I cannot remember what all of them were and because I'm not trying to get flagged for plagiarism, I'm not going to list them all anyway. Plus, I don't want to spoil the fun just in case you decide to read the book. The part I just mentioned just sticks out to me and you are about to find out why.
Here's a big of info you might not know about me. I'm short! I'm just under 5'4". After reading that section of the book, it finally dawned on me, maybe I am too short to be a model. Don't get me wrong, I've had people through the years tell me to not let people tell me that, but the fact of the matter is I'm short! There is no changing that and I'm pretty sure I'm out of the stage where my body is going to grow in height, but miracles do happen.
Here's another fact, I'm good at writing! Not being conceited, but I figured out when I was in the fifth grade when I was forced to write a poetry book. I did it kicking and screaming, but my teacher said it was on the best books in the class. That same grade level, I won the essay contest for the DARE program. In the fifth grade, I was 10. I'm a couple of decades older, so I can officially say I've been writing for a few decades now. That passion kept growing! It got stronger in the seventh grade. My ninth grade English teacher told me I was one of the best writers she ever had in her class. She encouraged me to take her creative writing class - I did. It earned me a spot as editor of the school newspaper, but I had to decline because that particular class was the same period as my physics class and I had to have it because it would help me with my college major. Need a better understanding of why I choose physics of newspaper editor, check out the link! Click here for the Periscope video! It's too much to try to explain right here.
In college, I was blessed to have to write a 30 page term paper because my work schedule wouldn't allow me to do the volunteer project. Grade on that paper was a 94. Yes, I still have it somewhere at my parents' house. Because of my major (civil engineering), the lab reports seemed to be endless. In my current job, I'm working on a technical report right now. At my church, I'm on the Editorial Team - in other words, I write some of the daily devotionals that are read by thousands! Here's the deal - WRITING IS WHAT I DO!
Don''t get me wrong, it doesn't define me, but it makes me happy. This entire blog was a leap of faith for me. Who wanted to know what it was like to live my version of the plus life and see some of my outfits? Apparently, someone wants to see it because this Spring, we will be turning 3! I wouldn't keep doing it if someone wasn't reading it. I have plenty of journals I can write in (and I still do), but I like sharing this part of my life with you.
I like telling you about how much I love body sugaring because I heard horror stories about getting my goddess waxed. Don't worry, I've been doing it almost a year and I cannot wait to tell you about my year journey with that method. I like telling you about my shopping trips (and so do the stores that I give a s/o to on social media). I like telling you about my outfit selections because some of them are less than normal (or something you would think a big girl could pull off). Here recently, I've enjoyed giving you a #BackstagePass into the lives of other people making it in the plus industry.
God didn't give me much height, but He gave me a voice, a mind that sees things differently, and He gave me a way with words. For that, I'm thankful. It's not meant for me to be a model and just because I'm a good writer, this blog may never be on a top ten list of blogs to follow. However, it makes me feel good just to be the author of The Plus Diaries. I think it makes other people feel good too because you keep reading and I am truly thankful for your support. Honestly, I cannot thank you enough and I know I don't thank you enough, but I do the best I can. This blog is my baby and I've watched it grow and it's exciting and scary and crazy all at the same time. But the fact that I am using my gift and being allowed to use it in this medium beats the madness any day of the week.