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The sex files

None of you have ever just came right out and said it, but I think some of you have been waiting on a post about sex.  I know it is a subject a few of my fellow bloggers touch on.  Honestly, I love how open they are about the subject and how comfortable they seem with the subject.  Maybe that's the word I've been looking for...comfortable.  

It's no secret that my ship has left the virgin island.  If you didn't know that, I just ask you to take a look at some of my posts and check out what I have to say.  However, it's just not something I like to talk about because I'm not comfortable.  Am I comfortable in my sexuality?  Yep.  I know who I am and what I am.  I'll tell you like I told a really good friend of mine - I like bats and balls and I prefer people that have them naturally in the same place.  That made him laugh, but it also made him realize that I'm just myself and I'm going to say what's on my mind.  But my sexuality isn't the problem. 

My problem is that my sexual past hasn't been that wonderful.  It is only in the past few years that I have understood what it meant to be intimate, without feeling like both of us had to be naked.  Although my sexual past is not the best, I have learned from it.  Are there some things I would wish I could change?  Yes.  Am I ok with the lessons I learned?  Most definitely.  

So, maybe that is what you need to hear from me right now.  Maybe you need to hear my lessons.  Here they go...

1 - Your first time is not going to be great unless it is with the right person.  Yes, I probably should tell you to not have sex until you are married, but I'm going to be realistic.  You may marry the person your first time was with.  Probably won't happen, but it could happen.  

2 - Protect yourself!  This can go a few different ways - protected sex, birth control, and even taking a trip to your doctor to make sure there are no STDs.  Ladies, I advise you to get a yearly exam.  

3 - Sex does NOT equal love.  I could go on about this, but this is something you are going to have to figure out for yourself.  It may take a few years, but trust me, you will learn the lesson.  

4 - Be with someone you can hang out with and not have to worry about having sex.  This is very similar to number 3, but very different.  If you have a person in your life that is perfectly fine with being with you and not trying to be in you all the time, that might be something worth fighting for.  

5 - Learn to love yourself.  If you don't love yourself, you won't respect yourself.  Guys respect you as much as you respect yourself.  

I'm sure I could go on, but I think this is a good stopping point.  Again, just not a topic I'm comfortable with - not because we don't think about it, but because I'm still working through my past issues with it.  Is it getting better as I grow?  YES!!!  I look forward to the day when I can comfortably tell you all the lessons I've learned.  Until then, this post will just have to do.  

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