Tuesday, August 16, 2016

The Grow Up

Disclaimer:  There are some religious references in this post.  Just fyi, I'm a Christian!  


Life is one heck of an adventure!  It's a daily roller coaster with all the twists, turns, flips, dips, and motion sickness we can handle.  Then we get up the next morning (or night depending on your work and sleep schedule) and do it all over again.  Not every twist, turn, flip, and dip is going to be fun though.  It's those not so fun times where we are supposed to learn a lesson.  Unfortunately, not everyone uses the opportunity wisely and allows the bad moments to keep repeating to the point there are no more good moments to keep up with them.  Is that really the type of life you want to live?  If you answered yes to this question, I advise you to change your thinking and to keep reading (but only if you want to change).  If you are good with your miserable status quo, honestly, I pity you.  If you cannot find some type of goodness somewhere in 16 hours (I got that number since we are supposed to get 8 hours of sleep a night), then you really do have a problem.  

Life comes fast and in a lot of ways.  You can be fighting with your family, have bills on top of bills, friends that are awesome, friends that annoy you (which I like to call acquaintances because I try not to hang out with people who unnerve me), and the absolute unexpected (and that comes in many forms).  It's how you handle the situation that builds up your character and more important, it is what you learn from the situation that will hopefully keep you from repeating the past.  Now, if the past has been good to you and you are happy, keep doing what you are doing.  However, if you keep doing the same thing of the past and looking for a different result, you are actually the definition of insane and that might just be a problem.  


Families fight!  If you have siblings, you know this all too well!  If you have a large family of cousins, you know this all too well!  If you have two parents, you know this all too well.  It is a fact of life that not everyone is going to get along all of the time.  Take some space (whether that is 1 hr, 1 day, week, month, or year) and just let time do what it is supposed to do.  That's where some of us go wrong, we try to rush the healing process and for what?  For the same thing to happen again and you haven't healed from the first episode of madness so it drives you deeper into a mood.  Tell me, where exactly did that just get you because I would really like to know.  However, during this time of space, enjoy that time!  That's your time to move on and it the friendship is meant to be, it will work itself out.  Yes, family can be friends too - that part is a choice.  Nah, you cannot pick who you are related to, but friendship is totally optional.  One last thing - forgiveness is key.  Here is where people get confused...forgive them, yes, let them do it to you again, nope!  Remember that thing about being friends with your family?  It's not always going to work out like that and you just have to accept it.  Actually, you need to accept it.  If you are the black sheep, except your status.  If you are the one that no one likes to be around, accept your status (but at the same time, see what you can do to change that). There is nothing worse than you wanting to be around people and then wishing you would hurry up and leave.  



Finances are a beast!  We were so excited to grow up and be adults, but here is where a few of us got off track - this whole adulting thing meant making your own money, the government taking some of it before it even gets to you, and then (depending on your pay schedule) you have to figure out how to make you money last until you get paid again.  This is where you have to learn to have and keep a budget, but some of us are not quite good at that either.  For instance, stop trying to keep up with the people around you.  If you can't go out to eat, don't go out to eat!  If you know you cannot afford to go shopping, don't shop!  I mean, if your friends are going out and you want to tag along, fine, but don't be mad when they are coming out of the store with bags and you are not.  Quite frankly, I love window shopping and then splurging when things go on sale.  And when it comes to clothes, I love me some coupons and shopping apps!  You have to make your wardrobe, makeup, food, and whatever else that costs money (which is basically everything) fit in your budget.  I love to use the phrase baller on a budget because that is exactly what I am.  

On the other hand, you won't find me out here budgeting backwards either.  For instance, don't decrease your allowance for one thing just to add foolishness to the list.  Also, learn the difference between a want and a need - I promise you it will get you a long way.  Now, splurging is something totally different.  If you have saved up and you want that 300 dollar pocketbook, go get it!!!  


This is already personal (because it's my blog - LOL), but let me make this all the way personal.  I want a pet.  I want a pet so bad that I call my friend's dog my dog.  I have even tried to get my dad to get a dog just so I can have a pet when I go visit my parents!  But guess what I don't have in my place?  A pet!!!  Why?  That's an extra expense I do not need right now.  Pets have to eat, need a place to sleep, a cage for travel, food, toys, and health insurance because pets do get sick!  Yes, I'm fully aware that I probably missed some things.  And then, some of you have steps and need a baby gate so your clumsy pet don't go falling down the steps and adding a trip to the pet urgent care to your monthly expense report.  Why add an expense that you don't need to your budget?  Unless you need a pet for medical purposes, have all the seats and stop wasting!!! 

Yall, we are going to have bad days.  Today, if truth be told, a couple of my hours at work were rough today.  A project I was working on wasn't cooperating with me and my computer had even started to say nope!  I literally had to get up from my desk and walk outside just to clear my head.  I even sent a text to my dear friend telling her about my work tantrum.  But guess what I did after that?  I moved on!!!  That project isn't going to finish itself!  Yes, take a step back and have a negative moment, but please do not turn that moment into a lifestyle.  Believe me when I tell you this - people do not want to be around that and people are not going to be around all that negative energy!  I'm quick to drop off the face of the earth when it comes to some people because I'm not going to deal with their foolishness (and that can be any number of things).    

If you are constantly complaining about your life, do something to change it.  If you are looking at your friends and their friendships and relationships and you sitting there thinking I wish I had what they had, then do something to change it.  If you are constantly focusing only on negative things in your day, I invite you to take a moment and remember that you are able to read this post.  That means, you have your sight and someone is not having to read this to you.  I think that's pretty positive.  However, if you just cannot find the positive in your life, I suggest you learn what it is like to live life alone because that is probably how it is going to be...unless you find someone to hang out with that is just as negative as you!  Why are you going to find yourself alone?  Well, most people don't like to be dragged down.  Also, most people are not going to allow themselves to be dragged down.  If you are a negative weight, you are probably not going to last in any circle of friends for a long period of time.  

Life is not easy, but I think it is worth the ride.  I have so many stories I could tell you in my short years on this planet, but I don't have the time!!!  With as much stuff that is not already easy about life, why would you want to add more on top of it?  I'm not trying to.  Yes, I know there are some things I have brought on myself (and you have too), but I'm learning to not keep stacking plates I'm just going to eventually drop.  I have found things to help me out along this journey and I would like to share a few of them with you.  


1 - I found a hobby.  Obviously, I love to write.  I also love to crochet.  Ok, I found a few hobbies!  If I am having a negative moment, I can usually write in my journal and feel a lot better.  I can also make a blanket in record time if I'm stressed and just need some quiet time.  Another thing I love to do when I'm feeling the negative pinch - I love to clean my place!  Just the fresh smell helps to calm my nerves.  Ok, cleaning is a habit to me, but I just wanted to share it.  Also, I love listening to music.  I can dock my iPod to its base or I can't put in some headphones and drift away.  It doesn't much matter to me! 

2 - Find a positive in everything!  My son was born still.  If you are a youngster and you don't know what that means, go have a chat with an adult.  As you can imagine, that was a horrible day!  Quite frankly, it's been some horrible years.  Where is the positive in that?  I'm glad you asked - my son's death is actually part of my story of salvation and I have been able to help a friend from college cope with the loss of her daughter.  I think getting a closer relationship with God and helping someone are both pretty positive.

3 - Therapy and medication!  I've done both and I'm still on medication for anxiety.  I'm cool with that.  If it is helping me, I'm fine with it.


 
I'm not saying one or all of these things are going to help you, but please find something to help your life be a little easier.  The more positive you are, the more positive energy will be around you, and the more people will want to be around you.  It's a fact!  I know magnets repel if a positive gets near a positive, but I can promise you it won't happen when it comes to people.  So, take this daily roller coaster and enjoy the ride.  Life's way too short to not be enjoying all the opportunities for happiness you have in front of you.    

Photo via Visual hunt
Photo via Visual hunt
Photo via Visual hunt 
Photo credit: 401(K) 2013 via Visual hunt / CC BY-SA 
Photo credit: mgrayflickr via VisualHunt / CC BY-SA 

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2 comments:

  1. What good advice! Thanks for sharing!

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    Replies
    1. Thank you so much! Just some lessons I've learned along the way!

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