Thursday, December 29, 2016

Survival


I made a solid effort this year to be more open in this blog.  I decided not to just write on the days I felt like it, but I also wrote on the days I could have cared less about anybody else or myself, for that matter.  Looking back, even when I didn't tell you I'm having a bad day, I can clearly see that day was a bad day.  I think it makes me more honest and real.  It's like all of my social media pages - I show you my good moments, but I also show you those days when I'm rolling my eyes and wishing people would just leave me the heck alone.  I also know when to limit my social media before I get on there and start hurting feelings.  

Well, today was one of those days when I probably needed a fast acting anxiety medication.  I mean, I have my daily medication, but today, I needed something right then and there!  I was hostile and I just didn't feel like being bothered, but stuff just kept coming!  People just kept coming.  Everything that I did not want to be bothered with just kept coming!  But in the midst of all the morning madness, I had a interesting conversation that could result in a meeting tomorrow.  Hey, that works for me.  But then came the afternoon...

I wanted to give everyone a chill pill!  I could actually feel myself getting a headache.  And then I get home to think a package had been left at my place, just to figure out the package wasn't left.  I knew where it was (because I took the initiative to figure out where it was), but the owner of the package thought I didn't.  Yes, I made the owner look for it because their name was on it.  After it had been found, I left them know I knew where it was, but was just waiting on them to put in the work to get it.  And that is when it dawned on me...2017 must be different.  

If you want to be part of my life, you are going to have to work for that.  I work to be part of yours and a relationship, friendship, partnership, and whatever other ship we are sailing on must have two people to properly stay afloat.  Another thing - I'm going to stop giving passes to people.  Ok, we all have bad days, but if you having such a bad day that you are on the war path and trying to destroy everything and everyone you see that day, stay in your own domain.  Don't come out and come for me.  You will get got back next year.  It's time out for craziness.  Also, when I get you back, you will also be on my naughty list for a length of time to be determined at the moment of the craziness.  Naughty list = no contact.  When I'm ready to let you back into my life, you will know.  I'm not afraid to let one of those ships do down in flames.    

It's funny how a few hours out of an entire day can put almost an entire year into a weird perspective.  However, I have to admit this revelation also came from a conversation I had yesterday.  When you take the time to listen to someone and see life from their angle and allow them to give you insight, life can change.  From the conversation, I noticed I needed to make a few changes because people are looking to me for some type of guidance and I can't give proper guidance if I'm stuck myself.  It's just not going to work. 


Note:  All photo courtesy of Pexels! 
 

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