I know Saturday was going to be a great day. I could just feel it. I had the best plans and the only thing I needed was for the interstates to be flowing freely without any accidents or crazy drivers. So, I got my errands completed, went to go get my brows shaped (because that's just what I do every three weeks), was able to get a short nap, managed to get my full face on (in record breaking fashion), and made it to where I was going before all the festivities started. Traffic flowed nicely (except for this savage that met the side of me I don't like) and it was just a great day...until that moment...
We got to a fun part of the event I was attending and my mind just flipped. I felt myself getting ready to go to a place that I don't like. My eyes got all teary and my heart started racing. I've never been one of those people who thought I'm having a heart attack during my anxiety attacks. Honestly, I think that was my saving grace in allowing me to not flip out in front of a few friends and a bunch of strangers.
I went into action. I took deep breaths. Inhale - 1 - 2 - 3 and exhale - 1 - 2 - 3, and repeat as many times as needed. Typically, I tell myself to stop out loud, but saying it in my head was going to have to work. Eventually, it did work. Didn't work as fast as I had wanted, but it did work. I got through it and I survived. Luckily, I had someone to text me some funny stories as well to keep me on the ground.
That's it. I was so scared of what was happening to me and although it took away that particular moment of happiness, it didn't ruin my entire day. After it happened and I got myself back together, I was fine. It was like everything went back to normal, but I will never forget that madness that caused me about 30 minutes of hurt.
For those of you who suffer from anxiety, let me tell you that it's ok. Everyone reacts differently and it's so important to take care of yourself, even when you feel obligated to others. I hope you make this year about self care, just as I'm striving to do. There will be bumps, but I look forward to getting through this one day at a time.