Sunday, April 30, 2017

Mentally Speaking

Photo Credit - Pexels
There are a bunch of things I said I was going to do in 2017.  I was going to lose weight (and that is going great), I said I was going to take more daycations (working on that), I was going to work on paying off a couple of bills (almost finished with one), and a few other things.  However, there is one thing I absolutely had to do - take better care of my mental health.  

I'm trying to be more open about it, but I do suffer from anxiety.  Let me go ahead and get on my soapbox and say if you have a problem with me medicating myself to help cope with my anxiety, just stop reading and go on about your day.  Why did I say that?  I actually hear it from people and I honestly just want to look them dead in the face and say shut the hell up and deal with your own madness.  I chose medication because it was what was right for me at the time and what is right for me right now.  I'm cool with it and unless you want to know me in my worst state, you need to be cool with it too.  Ok, let's continue.  

Eventually, I want to get off meds, but right now, this is working for me.  Let me tell you what is also working for me - keeping my distance.  I like not being around people that can potentially do me harm.  I pay close attention to what people say to me.  I know the cliche actions speak louder than words, but sometimes if you listen real close, people will tell you everything you need to know about what they think about you.  Currently, this is the pinned tweet on my Twitter...

Ladies and gents, truly listen to what people say to you, even for a laugh.  Out of the abundance of the heart, the mouth speaks.  Believe it.  #fyi

Now that I finally have a grip on the fact of what I suffer from, I love getting the chance to tell people about it.  But what is my favorite thing to share - and no, it isn't about me being medicated.  I love sharing about how I've learned to take care of myself.  Here are a few things I've learned...not in any particular order.

 1 - No one else has to understand what you are going through  
You don't have to explain yourself.  If someone asks why you act the way you do or why you do the things you do, you tell them as much (or as little) as you want.  
2 - You are fine
This is just part of what makes you the person you are.  You see things differently.  You think about things differently.  And if you are like me, you definitely go about doing things differently.  It doesn't have to make sense to anyone else, but as long as you get it, you're fine.  

3 - Walk away
I haven't mastered this out in public yet, but I have this down to a science at work.  Thank goodness for my boss because he has an understanding because he is used to being around someone with anxiety.  Some days, I just have to get up from my desk.  Then, there are those days where I have to go sit in my car and just relax instead of eating lunch.  No matter where you are, take care of you.  

4 - You might have to hurt a few feelings to get your point across
I CANNOT stand it when the people in my circle ask me "why not" when I say I don't feel like going anywhere with them.  I don't club.  That many people and some that have absolutely no sense of personal space will send me over the edge.  I can't stand it when my coworker comes to close to me in my cube, so you can probably imagine what I would do to a stranger who got in my space.  

5 - You cannot give up
If your goal is to get off medication, get on a plan to do so.  If your goal is to have a better handle on your anxiety attacks, start to figure out what works best for you - not anyone else.  

6 - Write it down
I keep a journal of my anxiety attacks.  My doctor didn't suggest this, but I figured it would be a great way for me to pinpoint what sets me off or find a pattern.  I didn't just use any journal though - I found one that had a cute quote on it that helps to keep me moving.  

7 - Love yourself for who you are
My life totally changed last year when I finally went to the doctor.  It was so refreshing to sit down and talk to her about what I needed and what I was experiencing.  I've had people tell me medicine doesn't work or ask me why meds...all the while they are experiencing their own demons.  Deal with it how you want to and don't let people make you feel bad about it.  Be your own advocate, even if that means advocating for people to get out of your life.

This is my favorite thing that I've enjoyed doing this year - taking care of myself.  It's been 4 months and I can honestly say I can tell a difference.  Now, I'm not writing to tell you that you will not have some dark days.  I had a horrible day a few weeks ago and I absolutely refused to talk to anyone, but that is exactly what I needed - to be left alone!  I just needed to get my feet back on the ground and I felt better.  This time, it only took me a couple of hours.  However, I am currently experiencing a silence around me.  For me, that means I'm basically only on social media to keep my blog going.  I've had to spend days finding my footing and if that describes you best, guess what?

It's ok!!!  

You got this and don't let ANYONE tell you that you do not.  

What have you been doing this year to take better care of yourself?  

Friday, April 28, 2017

May Goals

You already know from the title what this post is going to be about.  Typically, I don't share my personal goals because they don't have anything to do with the blog.  But that's just it - they do!  When I'm working hard and enjoying life, my writing is so much better.  When I'm down, I think you can tell.  So, here are some things I want to accomplish in May!  

1 - Lose 5 pounds
I hit the dreaded plateau at the end of March and the first half of April.  I know this because when I went to the doctor and got on the scale, I had maintained the weight from the birthday celebration.  I weigh myself again on May first, but I hope June first tells a greater story.

2 - Buy wedding shoes
So, I guess I have put this off long enough.  Nope, not getting married, but I'm in one in the middle of June.  Time is running out and if it like the last time I was in a wedding, I had to order them.  Yep, I'm that girl with the weird feet.

3 - Finish 1 chapter in my book
This book doesn't want to be written.  I do a little and then I put it down, but I guess that is the process.  If I work hard in May to get one chapter completed, I will feel so much better.

4 - Treat myself to a date
Nope, my love and I have not broken up.  However, my mom (getting ready to be 39 years married) always told me to treat myself - whether it is going out to eat, taking a daycation, or buying that one thing you really want.  In May, I'm having a date day!  

5 - Attend my church 3 times this month
This one is tricky because it implies I'm not going to church.  That's not it.  I've been searching for a new church and I finally have found one that I enjoy, it's just that I like to visit others or stay home and watch mine from home online.  However, in May, I really want to attend the church I'm probably going join a little bit more.  

What are some things you want to accomplish next month?  

Tuesday, April 25, 2017

One month away

I cannot believe this time of year is getting ready to come my way again.  One month from today, this blog, my baby will be four years old! 


I simply cannot wait!  However, I want to do something a bit different this year and I need your help.  I am looking for guest bloggers, writers, or just people who feel like they have something to say.  I would like to feature you in my blog to celebrate my bloggerversary.  Yeah, I know it's typically called something else, but you also know that I'm different.  

Here is all you need to do - contact me on Instagram starting today!  There will be a post letting you know what I need for you to do.  That's it!  I'm so looking forward to working with you!!!  

Sunday, April 23, 2017

Talking body

There has been a few videos floating around on Facebook recently that has really annoyed me.  The video isn't annoying me, but the reaction.  There is a young lady who is showing how to put on shape wear.  Cool.  I have a few items myself - don't wear them often, but the product she is wearing has caught my eye recently.  

In the videos, to me, it is OBVIOUS this woman has lost a considerable amount of weight.  She is basically using the shape wear to help hold in the skin around her mid section.  Cool.  She seems to struggle, but who doesn't when trying to put on this stuff that has the potential to cut off your circulation?!  Ok, dramatic, but we know that is how it feels!  She gets it on and she looks great, which is exactly what the product is supposed to do.  

So why are people laughing at her?  Someone posted in the comments just go to the gym.  Like I previously said, she has obviously done that, but just hasn't been able to tone or is in the process of toning.  Personally, when I'm on the journey to lose weight, I will lose about 15 to 20 pounds and then add in yoga to help with the toning part.  If I don't do that, I will be doing the same thing she is doing, trying to fit all the skin in something to make it not look as bad.  

Here is the thing that really annoys me with the video though - most of the people with the negative comments are wearing single digit sizes with no problem or still working out themselves to reach a goal.  Oh, how quickly we forget it was just a few years ago you were calling yourself Precious and you were calling yourself negative names, but you want to talk about why this woman is posting video.  

What if the lady is making money by posting and the company is getting good advertisement?  What if these videos are part of her journey?  What if she can't afford to get the skin removed or a trainer (because some are pricey)?  What if she is doing the best she can with what she has?  Don't knock the lady for doing what she can until she is where she wants to be.  

What do you see on social media that just gets on your last nerves?  

Friday, April 21, 2017

What the

I have officially reached the point where I say what the hell is wrong with me when it comes to my place in life.  I'm quickly approaching mid-thirties.  Like, when I say quickly, I feel like the next moment I'm going to wake up from the nightmare and be in my forties.  Dang, I actually said nightmare.  That wasn't one of those words that was planned - that was just me hitting the keys and apparently being really honest with myself about my place in this world.  

It's seems like it's going to be another year of wedding announcements and birth announcements and life is just going to keep passing me by.  I mean, I'm happy for everyone, but I can't help but sit back and wonder what is wrong with me?

I mean, I'm a cool person, with a side of attitude.  However, I'm also curious as to why I keep feeling like I'm being punished.  Yep, that's exactly how I feel - I'm being punished.  It's gotta get better, right?

So, here I sit and just watch life past me by.  It's really like everyone is going 100 and I'm stuck in park.  But I have absolutely no reason to complain - I have a roof over my head, food in my fridge, and plenty of clothes in my closet.  Life is good...just not moving at the pace I thought it would.  Ok, I guess I will just keep enjoying the ride...right?  

Tuesday, April 18, 2017

My name is Shayla and I'm a #psblogger

Tragically and without me really seeing it, my blog - this blog- stopped doing what it was supposed to do, featuring my plus size life.  I was doing Backstage Pass and featuring plus females in the industry (because I cannot seem to get males to be part of it).  I was talking about pop-culture.  I was talking about what I thought would get me more popular.  Then one day, I sat down and looked at my blog heading and the description and realized that blog doesn't exist anymore.  

That realization hurt.  It hurt because, at the time, 3 years of my journey had turned into a few months of posts dedicated to getting blog hits. That's not what this blog was intended to be about and it for dang sure wasn't what I wanted it to be about.  This brings me to today's posts.  

In the last quarter of 2016, I was determined to make a change and get this blog back to its roots.  I wanted it to stand out, but I also wanted it to be a reflection of me.  I'm a plus size woman.  I'm thick.  I'm chunky.  I'm a lover of food.  I'm all the cruel things society thinks of me.  I'm the DUFF.  But underneath all the skin, at the end of the day, I'm Shayla.  

Yes, I'm Shayla.  The woman who enjoys wearing cute clothes, making sure my face is flawless (with or without makeup), who loves wearing cute shoes, and loves to be in front of the camera.  I'm also Shayla, the (unorthodox) introvert.  Then, let me introduce you to Shayla, the anxiety sufferer.  Before I forget, there is also Shayla, the music lover.  And I do all this while being a plus size woman.  So why in the world did I stop calling myself what I was?  What I am...

a #psblogger?

I actually posted that hashtag on twitter a few weeks ago and someone actually asked me what it was.  Honestly, I wasn't that shocked they didn't know because it's not a hashtag commonly used.  For some reason, there is a stigma behind showcasing the fact you are plus size blogger because some brands don't want to work with you because you don't fit their look.  Cool, fine with me.  Some days, I don't fit my own look, but I still rock the hell out of whatever I'm wearing, clothing and makeup wise.  

I'm proud of who I am of the community I represent.  I carry myself well and I think I have finally proven to myself that I don't need a single digit size dress to validate myself or how I feel.  I'm Shayla.  I'm a plus size woman and I'm just happy to be a blogger.  A #psblogger with so many more stories to tell.  

What have you learned about yourself that no longer makes you ashamed?

Sunday, April 16, 2017

Classy, with a sprinkle of salt

Today is Easter Sunday!  Resurrection Sunday!  Whatever your church dubs it, we Christians believe that He is risen!  And that will end my religious portion of this post...I think.

This year for Lent, I gave up my prime TV watching hours of 5pm to 8pm (all times EST).  That's when I would be home from work, getting settled and just turn on the TV to binge watch something until it was time for me to go to bed.  Eating, washing dishes, getting in a workout, and blogging in between.  But for the past forty days, I have enjoyed those three hours without the television.  Want to know what I did during this time?  Let's talk about it.  

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~~~ Music ~~~
I took this time to sift through some of Amazon's playlist and find some music that had me saying how have I not heard this song before?  I really enjoyed just having the music on and letting it take me to a place of absolute freedom.  I love lyrics and I don't care how sick your beat is, if your lyrics are trash, I can't deal.  I've also enjoyed getting back in touch with some sounds I had forgotten.  It's just something about music that takes me away.

~~~ The Blog ~~~
I am happy to say that I made some decisions concerning The Plus Diaries.  With this seemingly extra time I had in my day, I felt so compelled to write.  I had all these ideas, but I knew yall didn't feel like hearing from me daily and I knew that although I wanted to write, I might not be able to do so.  It was during this time I was finally able to sit down and come up with a blogging schedule that seems to be working for far.  We're only a couple of weeks in, but I'm really enjoying the results and the stability of knowing when posts are going to be going live!  I'm sure it has made it easier for you to keep up with me as well.

~~~ Workouts ~~~
My workouts have been fierce!  Why?  Well, I wasn't worried about what show I was missing or how my not binge watching would get me off track.  The only thing I was focused on was getting healthier and making sure I was working out correctly.  Also, it made me get my mind back focused on my 2017 in 2017.  I don't think there is a post about it yet, but it will be coming once it is complete.  

~~~ Art ~~~
Well, thanks to my artsy coworker, I ordered something that will help me with my art skills.  Now I just need to buy me some more paper.  I also decided that I wanted to try to actually start putting some of my designs and layouts in a notebook.  Not everything is going to be perfect and I would love to see my progressions.  I'm really excited about getting started on my perspective pieces and maybe (just maybe) you will get a sneak peak!  

~~~ Friendships ~~~ 
This quiet time has allowed me to re-evaluate some of the people in my life.  It's amazing what you hear when the world around you is quiet.  I'm so thankful for my sister / manager and my mentor because they have been so instrumental in this process, especially after I received a text a few weeks ago that just floored me.  

~~~ Faith ~~~
Ok, so one more plug about my Christian religion.  When you take the time to really talk to God, He will talk back to you and it will be so clear.  I knew something was wrong with a friend of mine before we even got to work that Monday morning.  I knew when he text me Monday morning that there was a problem.  People do not just be lingering on your mind for nothing.  Listen to what He has to say because He's either leading someone (something) to you or leading your towards someone (something).  

~~~ Responsibility ~~~ 
I now feel a greater responsibility to constantly take care of myself, no matter who gets left behind.  This time made me realize it was time to get serious about doing some things that I've been wanting to do with this blog and reconnect with some people who may be able to help.  I have a responsibility to myself to at least try and to make sure I get things completed that need to be completed because I'm trying to leave a legacy.

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I'm telling you, it's truly amazing what taking three hours a day to unplug from something can do to you!  The change has been wonderful.  It's been so wonderful, I can actually see myself doing this at least three times a week.  Nothing wrong with continuing to have quiet time away from the madness.  

So, for those of you who think what I did for forty days was strange or lame, I have a question for you - what have you done lately to better yourself, without trying or feeling the need to tear someone down for making a positive change in their life?  

Friday, April 14, 2017

NYX lip week

Unless you have been hiding out for the past few months, you know the new love I have for the NYX collection of lip shades.  OMG - I'm in love with these colors and their feels!  I typically shy away from lipsticks and their products are no different.  I just haven't found a lipstick I enjoy.  But I can tell you without a shadow of a doubt that I think I finally found a brand that has the colors I love, at the right price, and that make me feel amazing just wearing them.

Last week, I tasked myself with wearing a different shade each day.  That was a bit difficult because that meant I had to wear the proper outfit...and it didn't always match.  But, this post isn't about my clothes.  It's about my lips.  I'll save my clothes for another week.  

As you can see, there was some red in my shirt (and I had on red capri pants).  However, I didn't want to go for my RED lips because there was an event at work and I thought it would be too much.  I went for a red, but something different.  I used, from the NYX Soft Matte Lip Creme collection, the shade Madrid.  It went one extremely well and even when it faded, you could still tell what color it was.  I only reapplied this shade once throughout the day.  You can probably see a glossy hint, but that is because I had a clear gloss underneath.  It lasted until I was ready to do a touch up and went perfect with what I was wearing.  

Well Tuesday, was a bit interesting.  Typically, I wear this shade with another shade of blue for a two-tone look or with a shade of purple to go all goth.  This was the first day I actually wore this shade solo and I was surprised by the response.  I thought people were going to look at me crazy at work, but someone told me that the dark color brought out my features and even gave the illusion that I actually had on makeup.  I guess I will need to try this shade with some makeup.  Hmmm....another post maybe?  From the NYX Soft Matte Lip Creme collection, I present to you Moscow.  Although I did use a gloss under this as well, it didn't stay glossy.  Also, I had to keep reapplying during the day because during the drinking water process and eating lunch, it didn't last.  Honestly, that is the only problem I have with this shade, it doesn't last the whole day.  I know I applied about four times, and once was to take the picture because I took it in the afternoon.  

Let me introduce you to Sydney, from the NYX Soft Matte Lip Creme collection.  I love this shade.  Weird part?  I actually think this shade looks better on me the more it started to fade.  It's a bit light for what I usually wear, but I'm trying new things because I want to have a more carefree style in all that I do.  This shade lasted and I found it to be very fun.  I'm really looking forward to wearing this shade again and pairing it an outfit that is near to the same color.  Yes, I applied a gloss beneath this shade, simple because I like the glossy look.  The only thing I didn't enjoy from this shade is that it did seem to dry out my lips.  I figure adding a simple moisturizer will alleviate that problem.

It's probably a bit difficult to tell in the photos, but this is actually a shade of purple.  From the NYX Soft Matte Lip Creme collection, this color is Seoul.  This was another shade I was afraid to wear, but it worked for me.  Honestly, as the day went out, I liked the shade better.  It lasted during my lunch trip and even though it wasn't as glossy as the morning time, the color still remained.  Typically, I pair this shade with another color to make it darker, but I think I can get used to wearing this alone on my lips.  

The day we've all been waiting for.  You need to understand that when I bought this color, I was afraid of it.  It's a deep red.  Even though my favorite color is red, I just didn't think I had the right lips for it.  Remember Monday's color?  Well, I like that one better than what I had on.  Breaking away from the matte tradition of the week, I broke out Cherry Custard from the NYX Intense Butter Gloss collection!  Yall, this shade lasts all day!!!  Didn't reapply once!!!  Underneath is a moisturizer and gloss, but it lasted though a morning snack, lunch, and two large cups of green tea!  I guess I need to go buy more from this collection since the staying power is so amazing!  

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There you have it!  My week wearing five different shades from NYX Cosmetics!  I am so in love with their shades and I cannot wait to buy more and (maybe) share some of them with you.  

What is your favorite lip shade or shades?  

Tuesday, April 11, 2017

Take the floor

I know how this post is going to sound.  As I type, I'm also prepping myself for the backlash this may cause.  I'm prepping myself for some of you to start your efforts at blackballing me from the blogging world.  I'm prepping for some of you to agree with what I'm saying.  I'm prepping for some of you to send me messages because you don't want others to know you agree.  I'm prepping to have to do a follow up.  Yep, seems like a lot for this little post I'm about to deliver, but this is pretty heavy.  

Brands!  Not everyone starts blogging to do this.  I know I didn't.  However, I have always thought it would be cool to say I got the chance to work with _____________.  I'm not looking for anything for free - you can see that from my posts.  Anytime I've ever mentioned a product, I've gladly purchased them, used them, then told you how I felt about them.  You can check out my most recent post about a product right here.  I've spent countless money on hair products, makeup products, and other things I enjoy because I'm going to use them anyway.  This blog is just a platform I get to use to express my feelings towards those products, even the ones that I have found to not be for me.  

I realize this is a small blog.  Honestly, I enjoy the intimacy of it.  When it starts to grow bigger, I will also appreciate more people seeing my posts and, of course, love the opportunity to interact with more people.  But what I will not do is change this blog to fit in with a brand or product that will only work with me if I do or say certain things.  

They have a brand.  I have a brand.  My brand is this blog.  My brand is all my social media.  I can't and I won't compromise that because it's special to me.  I get they are looking for certain looks or styles of blogs, but here is my question for you - doesn't it get boring working with the same people (and by same people, I mean people who fit into your cookie-cutter mold)?  They're always looking for people who do things outside of the box, but stay in their own box when it comes to finding people.  

So you don't select me because I didn't post about beauty on Instagram for 5 days straight?  Did it occur to you that maybe on Wednesday, I didn't feel beautiful or that I overslept on Friday and was concerned about getting to my day job on time?  Heck, did it occur to you that I woke up with something else on my mind and didn't want to post what lip shade I wore that day?  You don't pick me because I don't do a proper flatlay (which can get dull, by the way)?  Or here is my all time favorite one - you don't pick me because I don't have a certain amount of followers on my social media, but you love selecting those who pay for their huge following. 

(this is were if I were Kermit, I would take a break to go sip some tea 🍵)  

Fine, don't pick me!  I'll HAPPILY stay right here with my loyal readers and my loyal followers and produce content (whatever I decide for that to be) that gives it to you straight, no chaser.  Some of us are only asking for a chance to do something a little extra.  Not about the money, but to show people that we can do something else other than just write about our lives and the things we see around us.  Now, which one of you are going to step out the box you want your bloggers to step out of and give one of us a chance?  

The floor is yours!   

Bloggers, what is your major pet peeve when it comes to not getting the chance to work with a brand?  Send me an email if you want to remain anonymous.  

Sunday, April 9, 2017

Finding Me

Disclaimer: In this post, we're talking religion.  As I always do, I let you know so that you can stop reading now or choose to keep going.  I'm a Christian, so this post will be based on that.  If this post isn't for you, I totally understand and looking forward to you being able to enjoy some more of my posts. 

It's Palm Sunday.  One more week left in Lent and I am proud to say that I've stuck to what I gave up!  It's been amazingly refreshing and I can honestly tell you that my eyes are a bit more open now.  What I gave up for Lent was simple, but it allowed me to get some things accomplished and get started on some projects I have been putting off.  But here is another thing about giving things up for Lent, people don't always understand.  

I can't really pinpoint where it started back again, but I know for certain in 2015, I seriously made an effort to get back on track with my religious and spiritual life.  This is not me saying that I still don't have questions - this is me saying I'm trying to get back on a stable track.  I remember my former pastor saying something to tune of what can you do to get one step closer to God?  

I'll never be perfect, but I can do better.  So in 2016, I decided to change one thing that would get me closer in my walk with Jesus.  I decided to work on my road rage.  I know that may not be a lot to you, but for me, that is something major.  When I'm behind the wheel of a car, I use words I wouldn't use in my daily language, but I worked on that - I'm still working on that. 

Midway through the year, as much as I hate to admit it, something went down at my former church.  I won't discuss it, but I do not feel it was handled appropriately.  I also believe when you are in tune with your spiritual well-being, you are shown things that other people won't understand.  In other words, you will see people for who they really are and situations for what they are truly meant to be.  

In November, I started attending a new church.  I'm still attending.  Haven't joined, but I'm going consistently.  The pastor made reference to Easter in February and I was really compelled to do give up something for Lent! That thing I gave up is what brings me to this post.  

I believe God works in levels.  When He's ready to elevate you, I believe He starts to show you who can and cannot be around.  I believe He shows you people for who they really are.  And most important, I believe He gives you the chance to make the changes before He starts to make them for you.  

So, for those of you in my circle, when (not if, because I know what I need to do) you see me start to fall back, let me fall.  I'm putting distance between myself and you because it is what is best for me.  And right now, at this point in my life, what is best for me is all that really matters.  

In anything you've had going on in life, are there some people you have had to let go of?  Leave a comment and tell your story!  

Friday, April 7, 2017

Blown Away

If you have been a reader of this blog for any amount of time or follow me on my social media, you know that I have natural hair.  I love my coily hair.  It can be hard to manage, but we're getting there.  I've been natural officially for five years now, but I didn't do the big chop until four and a half years ago.  Hard to believe since my hair is back to its previous length and longer.  But that length is exactly what brings us here today.  

This time last week, I was so excited because I knew I was getting my hair done.  For me now, getting my hair done means that I'm getting it blown out, getting is slicked down with a flatiron, and hoping I read the weather report correct because I want it to last longer than a couple of days.  Well, this blowout was anything but ordinary - not because of the inch of hair she cut off (getting a trim is part of hair growth and health), but because of the madness my hair was cause in my office for ONE person.  

Monday rolls around and even though it's not going to rain, I know it's going to be humid because I live in the south.  No matter how hot my flat iron is that morning, by lunch time, my hair will probably be all over the place.  But Monday morning, I went to work looking amazing!  I got so many compliments and people were intrigued by my hair because they are used to seeing it styled in its natural state.  It was all good...and then I got that backwards compliment that could have resulted in my pink slip.  

The compliment started off as a compliment, but I still had to explain my hair.  She said, "Oh, your hair has grown".  Ok, we all know that shrinkage is real.  Don't let these coils fool you.  So, I had to explain to her that what she saw on my head Friday and what she saw on my head Monday was the same thing, just straightened.  I thought I had gotten through to her and it was done.  Then came the madness of your hair looks better like that.  

Remember that inch of hair they cut off my ends?  Well, that's actually the amount of hair probably on her head.  She has made it clear she doesn't like hair and doesn't like taking the time to do it.  She has mentioned something to my white co-worker as well (yes, I had to mention race because I didn't want you to think she was only going after me).  

Let me tell you how my straight hair week went.  
Monday, I got up early to flat iron it.  Tuesday, I got up early and put a crimp iron in it.  Wednesday, it was still crimped, but I sort of let it do what it wanted to do.  Thursday, I style the crimps, but it rained that evening and well, you know how that goes.  Friday, I wrapped it up (wished I had taken a photo) and only exposed the ends that I had so gently sprayed down with water that morning.  

Got that part out the way because that is important!  If you truly know me, you know that I wash my hair at least twice a week.  If I have gel in it to control these edges and sideburns, it can be more than that - depending on the style. So, Wednesday, she comes over to my desk and asks me about my hair because I was playing in it and making sure it was where it needed to be.  She wanted to know when I was going to curl it again.  I explained to her that my hair was naturally curly (don't know if she would have understood coily) and all I needed to do was get in the shower and wash it.  Ok, take a seat because I need for you to be ready for her reply.  

Take a shower without washing your hair.

...says the person that washes their hair each day to the person who washes their hair at least twice a week.  They had to put product in my hair to keep my edges down and you know what happened, it started to flake.  Shayla was NOT feeling that and was ready to see her coils again, but because I told my love I would wear it out for the work week, that is what I did.  

Thursday comes and when I tell you it rained, it rained!  It rained so much that it took me an hour to get home, but that is because I had to turn around because the road was flooded and because I had to sit in a parking lot because I couldn't see the hood of Charlotte (my car).  She asked me how I was getting to my car and I told her I had an umbrella.  I also told her that had that day been Friday, I would walk out to my car with nothing covering my hair because I was ready for my curls to come back.  Yes, I'm very blunt in my office.  

You can imagine her face when I walked in my office on Friday.  I came up with the idea on what to do to my hair Thursday night because I knew that after that horrid rain storm, it was going to be hella humid Friday.  On top of that, the wind picked up...again!  To keep my hair in one place, I wrapped it up!  Nothing wrong with that!  

I write about this madness to shed light on the madness we African-Americans have to put up with in the office all because someone doesn't understand our hair.  Don't get me wrong, I know this has to happen in other cultures too, but I can only write about what I know.  I shouldn't have to explain to you why I want to have extensions to protect my hair or why I want to add color to my extensions or why I prefer my coily hair over my straight hair.  If you are asking me because you actually want to know that's one thing, but asking to make me feel bad about my choices is enough to get your feelings hurt...had we been in a different setting.  

Here's my challenge to you - get to know that person in the cube next to you a little better.  Ask them about their family.  Ask them about their hobbies.  Ask them if they can give you vacation ideas.  Break the ice before just diving into the deep end and asking them about their hair.  Find out what makes them who they are because I can assure you, their hair isn't it.  

And just in case you were wondering, my boss wants to know when I'm getting my locs back because that has been his favorite style I've worn.  😀😀😀

So, since I can only write this from one perspective, in the comments share your hair stories - colors, styles, etc.  I know I cannot be the only person that has experienced this! 

Tuesday, April 4, 2017

It finally happened!

I guess this post has been a long time coming.  Almost 4 years to be exact.  When I started this blog, I had no clue what I was getting into with The Plus Diaries.  That became so evident last year when I had to rebrand to get back to what my blog was intended to be about - my plus life.  Somewhere along the way, I felt ashamed and like I had to conform to get readers.  I have found that to be absolutely false and my readers appreciate my realness, my openness, and the fact that I don't fit into a box. 

Last year, I was on a frenzy.  I just kept writing and I couldn't stop. That was fun, but it also got a little bit exhausting trying to keep up.  Hey, I have a life outside of this blog and that life also includes a full-time job.  

I've been wanting to get on a schedule since I got started and after careful consideration, I have FINALLY come up with a schedule that works for me!  

Ok, call it lazy, but I think my graphic sums it up pretty well.  I always say new month = new goals = new opportunities!  Well, for April my goal is to keep up with this schedule and enjoying the opportunities of taking a breather because I plan on having posts written in advance.  Just keep in mind, the first Monday of each month with ALWAYS be Music Monday, which is why you got a post yesterday.  Also, I'm putting great considering into doing Blogmas this year, so of course, this schedule would drastically change in December...but we have some time to figure that part out now don't we? 

I'm looking forward to this schedule and hoping my readers enjoy knowing when Shayla is going to be post, instead of asking when is Shayla going to post.  Great things are ahead, ladies and gentlemen.  Great things indeed!  

So, everybody, what are you looking forward to changing up this month?! 

Monday, April 3, 2017

Music Monday - March Edition!

You know I love me some music.  March was a great music month for me!  I made a few discoveries and fell back in love with some music from the not so distant past.  In the essence of not wanting to bore you, I'll just give you a quick glance into my music library.  

1 - "Neon Lights" by Natasha Bedingfield
This song makes me want to get up and dance.  I know this song is a few years old, but I heard it for the first time last month on Amazon Music.  I put on a random playlist and this was on it.  OMG, it was on repeat the rest of the night! 

2 - "Scars to Your Beautiful" by Alessia Cara
This song is absolutely beautiful.  I love the message and I hope everyone takes a little something from it.  Music is supposed to be emotional and make you feel something.  This song does that for me.  

3 - "It Ain't Me" by Kygo ft. Selena Gomez
This is a new song that has really had to grow on me.  When I first heard it, I was not feeling it at all.  However, for some reason, about a week ago, it came on when I was in the car and I just started jamming.  I guess it has officially passed Shayla's music car test!

4 - "Anything Can Happen" by Ellie Goulding
I don't have a reason for really loving this song, I just know that I do.  I actually brings back a great memory for me while I was at work and when it came on, I just starting dancing.  I think that is when my coworkers saw the less serious side of me and I realized I could really be me at work!

5 - "Stop and Stare" by One Republic
This song right here!!!  This song actually hurt because as I've gotten older and really understand the lyrics, I know exactly what it is about.  Let me just stop right here so I can listen to the song and get lost in the lyrics.  

6 - "Say You Won't Let Go" by James Arthur
I feel like it took me forever to know who performs this song, but I'm really glad I know now.  The lyrics are beautiful, the video is simple, and it is by far one of the best songs I've heard this year.  I love lyrics and this one definitely shows the love this guy has for the woman.

7 - "Wide Awake" by Katy Perry
I love this song.  I mean, I really love this song.  When this song came out, I was in a dark place and I felt like I understood everything Katy was saying in the song.  For the past couple of weeks, I've had the song on repeat.

♮       ♮       ♮

Well, this is the music junkie in me and I just love it!  I think it was a great month for music and I cannot wait to see what I get my ears to this month!