Friday, July 28, 2017

And.........Break!

This one is going to be real simple.  I am getting ready to take another blogging break, but I'm getting ready to explore other blogs!  So, I need something from you - blog links, especially if you're on bloglovin!  Leave them in the comments!  

New post is going to arrive on Sunday, August 13!  Now is the time to spread some love to some other bloggers since this community has been so awesome to me!  Happy blogging, ladies and gentlemen! 

Tuesday, July 25, 2017

Environmental Instability

Remember that post from Sunday?  Well here is the follow up.  

I'm happy.  Even on days I have to force myself to be happy, I am.  What I have discovered is that I'm not happy with the environments I have found myself in.  

For instance, my day job.  I love what I do.  I'm happy with what I do and I do believe that I'm pretty good at it.  What I'm not happy about is the new environment that has happened around me.  I've been told that I'm intimidating to the high ranking person in my office because I have a lot of knowledge.  I don't plan on pretending to be dumb to make anybody feel better about what they should be doing.  In turn, that has turned the office into a bit of a wannabe hostile place.  



What I do is very simple, I go to the office, I work, keep my head down, go home. Repeat Monday thru Friday.  I keep my headphones in, do a little dance at my desk, get in a good laugh, and get my work done.  It's not my fault because you don't like to ask me questions because I have a lower rank than you.  It's not my fault that even when you ask me a question, you have to run to someone else and verify what I saw.  It's not my fault that your actions have frustrated me enough that I don't even want to talk to you without someone being present.  It's not my fault that your actions have caused me to keep a notebook of what happens in our office on a daily basis.  

See, my environment has changed and I have no clue what to do with it.  But some news that I learned last week definitely got me on the move to find something else.  I spend the majority of my waking day at work.  If that is a rough environment, why would I want to be there?

Here's to change.  Here's to change coming in its own time.  Here's to me standing up for myself until change comes.  Here's to holding on to hope.  

Sunday, July 23, 2017

The Great Adaptation

I have a feeling this will be a series of posts.  I don't want to bore you with a long post.  Quite frankly, I don't have the energy for a long post right now.  I have so many emotions running through me right now.  In all moments, I'm happy, but there are those moments that just under the surface of that happiness, I'm either angry, hurt, confused, on the cusp of falling back into a depression, or getting ready to have an anxiety attack.  I like non of those things, but I know they are all part of what we go through in life.  

In recent weeks, I've had different people ask me the same question, but pertaining to different things.  Here is the question....

Are you happy?

The thing is, I cannot just simply say yes to this question.  However, when people ask me, I think I confuse them by smiling and saying yes.  I'm not trying to confuse them, I'm just trying to keep it simple because there is a lot going on under the surface.  But let me tell you one thing, when environments change, you have to learn to adapt.  


Photo Credit: Pexels

Friday, July 21, 2017

We need to talk

I wish I had something fancy to tell you today.  I don't.  When I got in the car from a crazy day at work, I heard something that was shocking.  But at the same time, I'm not surprised because we're hearing about it too often.  

We have to stop making mental health sound like such a bad phrase.  It's real.  People are suffering from it.  People need to know they have someone they can talk to.  People need to know that they are understood.  

If you are in the United States, the National Suicide Prevention Hotline is 1-800-273-8255.  My fellow readers and bloggers in other counties, if you could please comment with the hotline in your location, I will greatly appreciate it.  

Unless we start talking about this, we're going to continue to see RIP and pray for _______.  Aren't you tired of seeing hashtags of people we could have helped?  And no, I'm not just saying this, I've been on the side of this where I almost succeeded.  I've been very open about my battle with depression and my current issues with anxiety.  Why?  Because it's time to be open and honest.  It's just time.  

Tuesday, July 18, 2017

Up to scale

Well, it's a beautiful day to be happy and alive!  Here's to hoping I can actually keep up with my posting schedule this week.  I haven't been doing to well with that lately, but I will give it a try.  

Today, I want to talk about this whole workout thing I'm doing right now.  I've been working out and eating better since January 2 of this year.  As of yesterday, I've logged food in LoseIt for 197 days!  I've only lost just over 10 pounds, but remember, I did have two months where I sort of hit that crazy plateau!  However, I didn't let that sidetrack me.  I kept going and I'm a little excited to do my monthly weigh-in August 1.  But, that's not what brings me here for this post...

A couple of weeks ago, I was in the hallway of my office building getting prepped to do some field work.  Well, someone caught me in the hallway and asked me who are looking cute for?  I started laughing because I was NOT cute at all that day, since I was working outside part of the day.  I told her and she said she was referencing my smaller frame.  


the compliment that changed my day

Anyone who has ever tried to lose weight knows this one thing to be true, you are the last person to notice the actual physical change in your body.  I've been known for a couple of months that my clothes are fitting better.  Just a few weeks ago, I got on a pair of jeans without even having to unzip them.  But when I stand in front of the mirror getting dressed to go to the office, or anywhere for that matter, all I see is a tummy (and now all the extra flab I've gained since losing those pounds).  I'm not complaining though.  It just means it is time for me to change up my workout.  



So, this post was nothing major, but I just wanted to let you know fellow people on the hunt to lose some weight - you're doing fabulous!  Keep moving forward and remember that you are much more than a number on the scale.  It took me a while to learn that and once I did, I was much better for it.   

Photo credit: Pexels

Sunday, July 16, 2017

This little life of mine

I feel like I've been very sporadic lately.  I really haven't been myself and to be honest, I'm not exactly sure what is going on.  I honestly just feel drained and I'm doing things right.  I'm working out, eating better, trying to make better life decisions, and also enjoy this space.  

This space.  Yep, that's how I know to explain it - this space.  I'm not talking about my blog, I'm talking about where I am in life.  I'm trying to enjoy it, but I'm also scared of it because when I had dreams when I was growing up, it wasn't to be this old and be in this space.  I look around me and I feel like people are moving at the speed of blur, but I'm sitting still.  It's scary.  It can be demeaning.  Also, it can hurt.  



I won't go into all the juicy details because my journal got pretty full about it over the past week, but this space is not where I want to be.  I know what's about to happen - the people who have been through this are going to tell me it's going to get better and you are doing perfectly fine where you are.  Ok, did you want to hear that when you were going through this?  I doubt it.  

Don't discount how I feel just because you have made it to the end of the tunnel.  I feel like I'm sitting in the middle of it and have absolutely no reason to go backwards just to start this process all over again.  But here is what I will be very happy to hear - HOW did you get through it?  You don't have to give me all the tea, but at least let me know how you coped.  I would just love the advice.  

Photo credit: Pexels

Friday, July 14, 2017

One quarter down

If you follow me on Instagram, you know that I am doing my very own version of #100HappyDays!  I won't give you a complete rundown, but I will instead direct you to the post where I talked about this cool endeavor.  You can find it right here.  

Today is day 24!!!  I have been doing my best to keep you updated on Instagram ONLY because I just wanted to have some more fun on that particular social media site.  I've had some fun doing this and am very much looking forward to the next 76 days!  Truthfully, I'm just glad that I have been able to keep it up so far.  

Well, I started this thing on the first day of Summer!  Summer...the season I hate least!  However, I was determined to have a great summer and I have so far.  What has been your favorite part of the summer so far? 


Tuesday, July 11, 2017

The Focus

We've reached the second half of 2017 and I couldn't be more excited.  My spiritual life is getting better, my work life is still great, this blog is still a place of refuge, and I'm going to try to tackle something so that I can add it to my list of things Shayla has accomplished.  As always, I am not ready to tell you just yet, but I'm a bit excited.  Also, I don't know if I told you or not, but I'm in the process of getting my Etsy shop back up and running.  The site isn't ready just yet, but you can check out the Instagram page that goes along with it at Divanomics13.  And if I have told you, go check it out again.  LOL!!!  

So, what do I want to work on accomplishing for this second half of 2017.  There are really two things I'm focused the most on - officially working with a brand and actually doing Blogmas this year.  Working with a brand is something that is going to be consistent, but Blogmas will be a first for me!  I have these ideas floating around about Blogmas, but I'm not ready to share them just yet.  However, fellow bloggers, if you have any suggestions that have worked for you in the past, please give me some.  

There are some other 2017 goals and I am really excited about them all.  I need to get another photo shoot under my belt.  That is a must!  I'm still very interesting in the duo podcast, and I need to start focusing on making this blog a little bit brighter (you'll know what I mean when you see the changes).  

I apologize for not posting Sunday.  I honestly just couldn't do it.  I've been having a horrible time getting back focused because of some things going on in other areas of my life, but like I said in my Friday post, my tippy toes are just getting back on the ground.  I cannot wait until both of my feet are finally flat and I feel a bit more grounded.  

So what else can I tell you?  As for right now, this is it.  However, you know I don't mind answering questions.  In other words, if there is anything you want to know, please comment!  

Friday, July 7, 2017

I'm back!

I cannot go any further without a giant THANK YOU for allowing me to take a break I didn't know I needed.  It's been a wild two weeks.  Truthfully, I have no clue even where to start.  

Just in case you were wondering, I wrote this post last night.  Ironically, yesterday was a long day.  It was hot - in the weather and in my nerves.  I've been busy at work.  I've been trying to find my balance in my life and truth be told, I'm just starting to feel my feet touch the ground.  Don't get me wrong, I'm not there yet, but my tippy toes are finally on something solid.  What caused this madness?  I wish I could tell you, but the fact is that I cannot.  

One day I was perfectly normal and the next, it was totally different.  As you can imagine, it didn't really happen like that, but I think you get it...and you don't have to have anxiety in order to know that.  I kept trying to tell myself that I was OK and I poured myself into working out (which ended the plateau, by the way), but I was still missing something.  

What I was missing was a sense of stability.  This is not anything new for me.  If you are honest with yourself, you go through this at least once a year yourself.  It's all part of growth and learning, but it's also annoying and it hurts.  There's tears, there's anger, there's aggravation, and there is a bunch of soul searching.  However, there is one great thing that comes at the end of this foolishness - you are more than prepared to attack the next hurdle.  Yep, it's going to come.  Just stay ready.

If there is one piece of advice I can give you from all of this, 

just stay true to yourself 

through the battle.  Don't change up because then you're going to be fighting the initial battle and then looking at yourself in the mirror trying to figure out who is looking back at you.  

By the way, I'm still on the battlefield.  I told you, my tippy toes are just reaching the ground.  Now, I just need for the rest of my feet to follow.