Tuesday, July 25, 2017

Environmental Instability

Remember that post from Sunday?  Well here is the follow up.  

I'm happy.  Even on days I have to force myself to be happy, I am.  What I have discovered is that I'm not happy with the environments I have found myself in.  

For instance, my day job.  I love what I do.  I'm happy with what I do and I do believe that I'm pretty good at it.  What I'm not happy about is the new environment that has happened around me.  I've been told that I'm intimidating to the high ranking person in my office because I have a lot of knowledge.  I don't plan on pretending to be dumb to make anybody feel better about what they should be doing.  In turn, that has turned the office into a bit of a wannabe hostile place.  



What I do is very simple, I go to the office, I work, keep my head down, go home. Repeat Monday thru Friday.  I keep my headphones in, do a little dance at my desk, get in a good laugh, and get my work done.  It's not my fault because you don't like to ask me questions because I have a lower rank than you.  It's not my fault that even when you ask me a question, you have to run to someone else and verify what I saw.  It's not my fault that your actions have frustrated me enough that I don't even want to talk to you without someone being present.  It's not my fault that your actions have caused me to keep a notebook of what happens in our office on a daily basis.  

See, my environment has changed and I have no clue what to do with it.  But some news that I learned last week definitely got me on the move to find something else.  I spend the majority of my waking day at work.  If that is a rough environment, why would I want to be there?

Here's to change.  Here's to change coming in its own time.  Here's to me standing up for myself until change comes.  Here's to holding on to hope.  

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