I feel like I've been very sporadic lately. I really haven't been myself and to be honest, I'm not exactly sure what is going on. I honestly just feel drained and I'm doing things right. I'm working out, eating better, trying to make better life decisions, and also enjoy this space.
This space. Yep, that's how I know to explain it - this space. I'm not talking about my blog, I'm talking about where I am in life. I'm trying to enjoy it, but I'm also scared of it because when I had dreams when I was growing up, it wasn't to be this old and be in this space. I look around me and I feel like people are moving at the speed of blur, but I'm sitting still. It's scary. It can be demeaning. Also, it can hurt.
I won't go into all the juicy details because my journal got pretty full about it over the past week, but this space is not where I want to be. I know what's about to happen - the people who have been through this are going to tell me it's going to get better and you are doing perfectly fine where you are. Ok, did you want to hear that when you were going through this? I doubt it.
Don't discount how I feel just because you have made it to the end of the tunnel. I feel like I'm sitting in the middle of it and have absolutely no reason to go backwards just to start this process all over again. But here is what I will be very happy to hear - HOW did you get through it? You don't have to give me all the tea, but at least let me know how you coped. I would just love the advice.
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